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Wednesday, January 19, 2011

God Made Sure I Do Not Give Up


"Everything happens for a reason."

Four years ago,
It was a thursday...
I was on a tamaraw fx ride to work
when I received the call of a former student
explaining something about a mother wanting
to leave her infant at a local hospital...

Never bothering to see nor examine the infant,
I pushed through with the decision...

Five years ago,
If I had known that LITTLE GIRL would not save a failing marriage,
Maybe I would not have made that decision...

But I had...
and a couple of times after the separation,
I was on the brink of wanting to go to another plane of existence...

Nothing seems to go right,
Nothing seems to happen that would make my life
a little happier than usual
a lot more happier than before...

But I saw the child lying peacefully
sleeping...
My conscience berated me...
here I am wanting to end life
just because I was in misery
just because I was in pain,
how unworthy I am of this child,
who I assumed responsibility only to leave behind
just because I was in misery...

Five years ago,
The LITTLE GIRL saved me from a big mistake,
For just being with me,
This LITTLE ANGEL saved me from thinking that life
has nothing to offer...and so together with her,
I moved on...

A couple of mistakes here and there,
Hey, who's perfect?
and still this Little Angel was always there to catch me,
to give a hug...innocent that
her little hug meant so much...

And now, this ANGEL, being the center
of something I never thought a kin would see
as an opportunity to tell me cruel words,
I can't help but fight back...

I never counted how much I have helped,
Never even regretted any help I've extended,
especially to someone I share a mother with...
But unfortunately, she said things I never thought she would,
She made me realize, I was alone from the very start,
and this little blessing....
This angel made me realize, I am never without a company...

Innocent eyes looked up to me,
asking, "Bakit ka iyak? Anong mashakit? Kuha ako amot..."
ahhh...if only what I feel can be alleviated with a medicine...

And that reason why this Little Girl was with me,
why I made that decision 5 years ago?

it came...
God never wanted me to give up...
He knows me too much...
He knew that if I have no responsibility to this child,
He knew that if this child and I never met,
He knew I could have given up on life a long time ago...

He made sure I dont just give up,
He made sure I fight.

Yes, everything happens for a reason,
and this reason found me today...
and seated herself on my lap,
and hugged me
and told me she love me.

Now, if only I could stop the eyes-water from falling,
the mind would be clear as to the next step to take
because God made sure I NEVER give up...

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